Wedding Addressing 101
So many rules! Don’t worry – here’s some helpful tips when addressing your envelopes.
Don’t Abbreviate
- Use full names, not abbreviated names or nicknames (Benjamin, not Ben)
- Spell out street names (Lane not Ln., Street not St.)
- Spell out directions (East not E., North not N.)
- Spell out the State instead of the abbreviation (Illinois, not IL)
- Use full suffixes (Junior, not JR.)
- Write out street numbers (Fifty-third Street, not 53rd St.)
Know Who You’re Inviting
- Be sure you know the titles of your guests. Titles are the one thing that CAN be abbreviated.
- Include the guest’s name if they are serious plus ones. If cousin Larry has been living with Mary for 10 year, include Mary’s name instead of just “and guest”
- Be clear about if you’re inviting children to the wedding. You can use “and family” on the same line, or if you know the kids names you can list them on the second line. Just be sure you know how to spell the kids names if you go with that option.
- When addressing couples, rank matters. It seems silly to discuss rank within a family, but etiquette states that the higher ranking person is listed first. For example if the woman is a judge it would be The Honorable Kelly Reif and Mr. Myles Reif.
Here’s a cheat sheet of common addressing situations. Don’t stress too much though. While it’s important to try and get things right here, your loved ones should offer some grace in tricky situations.
Married Couples
| Situation | Rule | Example |
| Same Last Name, Different Genders | You can list using just the man’s first name or include the woman’s name Both should be listed together on the same line | Mr. & Mrs. John Doe Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe |
| Same Last Name, Same Gender | “Mrs. and Mrs.” or “Mr. and Mr.” Both should be listed together on the same line | Mrs. Jane & Mrs. Jill Smith Mr. John & Mr. Jacob Smith |
| Different Last Names, Different Genders | Write out each full name with “Mr.” or “Mrs.” Man or woman can go first, depending on your preference Both should be listed together on the same line | Mr. John Doe & Mrs. Jane Smith Mrs. Jane Smith & Mr. John Doe |
| Different Last Names, Same Gender | Write out each full name with “Mr.” or “Mrs.” Both should be listed together on the same line | Mrs. Jane Doe & Mrs. Jill Smith |
| Two Doctors, Same Last Name | Use “The Doctors” as a title followed by their last name or include their first names Both should be listed together on the same line | The Doctors Smith The Doctors John & Jane Doe |
| Two Doctors, Different Last Names | Use “The Doctors” as a title followed their first and last names Both should be listed together on the same line | The Doctors John Does & Jill Smith |
| One Doctor, Same Last Names | The doctor should go first because of the rank Use both people’s abbreviated titles Both should be listed together on the same line | Dr. Jane & Mr. John Doe Dr. Jill & Mrs. Jane Smith Dr. John & Mrs. Jill Jones |
| One Doctor, Different Last Names | The doctor should go first because of the rank Use both people’s abbreviated titles and include first names Both should be listed together on the same line | Dr. Jane Doe & Mr. John Smith Dr. Jill Jones & Mrs. Jane Doe Dr. John Smith & Mrs. Jill Jones |
| Man is a Judge, Same Last Name | Use “The Honorable” for the title Both should be listed together on the same line | The Honorable & Mrs. John Doe |
| Woman is a Judge Same Last Name | Use “The Honorable” for the title followed by her full name Woman’s name should be listed first Use the man’s title followed by his full name Both should be listed together on the same line | The Honorable Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe |
| Married Couple, Including Kids | Use the appropriate naming rules for the first line List the children’s name underneath or add “and family” to the first line Note that kids over 18 should receive their own invitation | Mr. & Mrs. John Doe and family Dr. Jane Doe & Mrs. Jill Jones John, Jacob, and Jennifer |
Not Married
| Situation | Rule | Example |
| Unmarried, but a couple | List each guest using their appropriate title on a separate line If they are a long-term couple, you may list them on the same line and use “and” to separate them List each person in alphabetical order | Mr. John Doe Mrs. Jane Smith Mrs. Jill Anderson and Mrs. Jane Smith |
| Single with guest | Use the appropriate title for the guest and include “and guest” after | Mr. John Doe and guest |
| Single without guest | Use the appropriate title followed by the full name, note that Ms. and Mr. are the appropriate titles for single men and women | Mr. John Doe Ms. Jane Smith |
| Widowed Woman | Use Mrs. as the title still and list her full name | Mrs. Jane Smith |
| Divorced Woman | Either title (Ms. or Mrs.) is acceptable, regardless of if she kept her last name | Ms. Jane Smith Mrs. Jane Smith |